Saturday, December 29, 2012

The Cold Hard Truth

I must be one of the most unhealthy people on this planet. I mean, I know that I am stressed to the max and overweight. But think of all the gross things going on on the INSIDE of me. Do I really want to know? So the next step in my new lifestyle is my new diet and exercise. I am planning to post pictures and measurements of myself over the next year to see how this lifestyle change affects me and my family. Let's start with the way I feel.

I am tired. All the time. I know I don't get enough sleep (usually 5 hours or less a night) but even on nights when I get 8 hours I still wake up feeling so tired. I am cranky with my spouse and my kids. My temper can be short and my emotions are all over the place.

I feel like I am trying to do too many things at once. I have too much on my plate and it is getting heavy to carry. I work overnight at a vet's office 3 nights a week (those days I get even less than 5 hours sleep!). I run 2 small craft businesses, a travel agency, and I am a Pampered Chef consultant. I used to also have a popular cooking and homeschooling blog but I just can't keep up. I love all the jobs that I have but I just feel like it is all too much. Not to mention that I have 3 small girls ages 5, 2, and 8 months and I homeschool. I am active in my community and in my church. I need to find a balance.

I never exercise. Ever. I currently get winded walking up the stairs and if I am required to carry the baby you can forget about it. By the time I lay her down my chest is tight and I have to lay down to catch my breath. I am sure all the pain I feel in my body is due to my body slowly giving up on me. Or it is from depression. Which leads me to.....

I am depressed. Not in a "I want to kill myself because my life sucks so much" kinda way. Just a lack luster kinda way. I love my family and I know I have so many blessings in my life. But I feel deflated. I don't enjoy things like I should and everything in my life seems to require such great effort. I hate this the most. My girls are young and I love them and want to be filling their lives with happy memories. Not one of a rushed dysfunctional family who can't seem to ever get it together.

My sex life. Blah. No, I am not going into any seedy detail but I will say that I just have no desire. The fatness, sluggishness, and depression I am sure have a lot to do with all that. Hopefully that will improve.

So now for the most obvious part. Me and the way I look currently. I was going to take a picture of me in nothing but a bathing suit but geez, it was scary. So instead, here is me and my current measurements:


Measurements 12/29/12:

Bust: 41 inches
Waist: 36 inches
Hips: 43 inches
Thigh: 25 1/2 inches
Arm: 14 inches
Current Weight: 162 lbs
Pant Size: 12
Dress Size: 14

No I am not morbidly obese but I feel like I could be and I am tired of it! Also, my skin is in major revolt. I used to have the most amazing skin. Now, it looks horrible. Red splotchy cheeks with acne everywhere. I want it to all go away.  

So here's to a new year and a new healthier life for my family and me! Time to suck it up and make the change. It will be hard but so worth it in the end - I have faith!! 





Friday, December 28, 2012

Everything Must Start Somewhere

Well, my BIG dreams were met with a very skeptical look. We are not in the financial position to just pack up and move to the country. Of course my hubby has to come in and be all practical. However, he did give in a little (he is so great at compromise!) and we have purchased a house just outside the city limits. It is on about half an acre which isn't a lot but it is enough to have a small garden for now and the girls can run and play. The world just seems so crazy today and I need to feel like I have some control over at least my small little part. We have decided to start a new diet and make a huge lifestyle change. I am not too sure how I will survive it or if I will. I have grown up in a world where my family just eats McDonalds 3-4 times a week and now our health and our children's health are paying for our gluttony. Baby steps to a simpler, healthier, happier life. When I am feeling brave enough I will take a picture of me now, my frazzled, out of shape self. I am hoping that in a year I can look back and not recognize the person in the picture. I have decided this blog will mostly be thoughts and goings on in our journey. I hope to be able to find support and give support to anyone who would like to read along.

Friday, December 21, 2012

The Madness in the City

Here I am. 31, married to a wonderful man, mother of three lovely little girls. I have my own successful business that has brought me joy and decent income. I have been homeschooling my kids. It's just, well, this is somehow not the life I pictured for myself. So busy all the time. Pulling out my hair and throwing down TUMS daily trying to ward off the ulcers all too quickly forming in my gut. Growing up in the suburbs I always promised myself I was going to get away. I wanted to live in a quiet small town where everyone knows everyone and could call you by name. And now, I am raising my family in the same fast paced world I was raised in. Only now, it is like a million times worse. I need to escape, I need to get away, I need serenity now! I have been thinking about what I want to do for a while and finally it came to me. I want to move to the country and build a homestead. I want it to be for my family but I would also love to incorporate my long time business goals of having an inn and spa. So..... I haven't told my husband yet of my far fetched ideas. Sure sure, he knows I am longing to get out of the city but he doesn't know I am LONGING to get out of the city. What will this blog be about? I am still not entirely sure. Mostly I know it will be about my journey into the simple life. Me finding ways to connect with myself, my family, my passions and hopefully fulfilling my dreams in the country. Everyone needs some time to just take a step back from the madness and just smell the roses. Perhaps its time I plant some.